Wellness Journalism: What is The Good Life?

Hot On the Heels of The Good Life

“The Good Life.”  Sounds like a reasonable desire.  It also sounds rather vague, and highly subjective.  Yet we must define it somehow, if we are to determine whether or not it has been obtained.

Is it, as Warren G suggests, money, fast cars, diamond rings, gold chains, and every other thing?  Is it houses, expenses, fancy clothes, and vacations to Paris?

Experts in the field of Positive Psychology suggest that the answer is NO.  While these material supplements may be impressive, and fun for awhile, there is a mechanism in the human mind known as The Satisfaction Treadmill.

As humans, one of our key selling points is an amazing ability to adapt to change. Like many talents, however, it has the potential to work both for and against us.  We are like walking hedonic “thermometers.” When something feels good our pleasure “temperature” rises, and when something feels bad our pleasure “temperature” drops. As in any climate, repeated exposure results in adaptation (Frederick & Loewenstein, 1999).  Although this adaptation to pleasure is almost universal, the drop in “temperature” still catches us by surprise—and so, we go looking for another high. The Satisfaction Treadmill finds us constantly running toward that next pleasurable thing, which, once adjusted to, loses its luster.

A study published in TIME magazine reveals that happiness is more closely tied to healthy relationships with family and friends than with material possessions or even career achievement.   So perhaps The Good Life is to be found in the company of loved ones.  Then again, a satisfying career and material stability seem to keep loved ones around—especially as we are able to give back to community, support our passions, and ensure our futures.

Each of us has unique goals, and reasons for pursuing them.  It would be narrow-minded and short-sighted to insist on outward generalization; what’s good for you and what’s good for me are often two very different things (and they should be, if biodiversity has anything to teach us).  So what’s The One Ring, that all-powerful, underlying framework with the capacity to hold them all?

You can have nice things, a rewarding career, and a house full of companions.  But nothing outside of yourself will truly define your good life.  Happiness is an inside job.  If you truly feel good on the inside, your perceived life experience will directly reflect it.  Feeling good is the happy side-effect of taking good care: nourishing your body, mind, and spirit.  From here, your navigation is empowered and your vision enhanced.  You can see your way to the life that is good for you.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then good is in the “I” of your behavior.  The choices you make on a daily basis—the who-what-when-where-and why of it all—represent the ultimate investment, and they accrue in the most interesting manner…

So, what is The Good Life?

It’s what you make of it.

Wellness Journalism: How to Have a Bad Day

LET’S BE HONEST. We are under a variety of pressures to perform in ways that may or may not feel natural, or even pleasant.

With global warming, economic depression, rampant poverty, and toxic bioaccumulation…

Not to mention a pile of dirty laundry five feet high, arguing with a significant other, losing your keys again, overdue assignments, and upcoming exams…

You’re basically running the vehicle that is your body under extreme conditions. It’s perfectly predictable that at some point, you’re gonna break down.  There will be a day where you just can’t go on with business as usual, because you’re feeling depressed, tired, anxious, or just plain angry.  When you just want to stick out your tongue at the world and quit.

photo by Natalie Wong

Our cultural standards for excellence seem to make us feel weak and useless in these moments of frustration.  Like we are supposed to keep our chins up and our feet pumping at all times.  So that, when we have a bad day, we actually feel worst about the fact that we feel bad; like we are letting ourselves or each other down.  The expectation that an ideal life experience is always positive and happy and smiling isn’t reasonable.  In fact, as Khalil Gibran points out, joy and suffering are two sides of the same coin.  You can’t truly feel one without the other.  The bad days carve the space within us to appreciate the good ones, and the good ones create the contrast that let the bad ones stink so much.

Here’s the question: when your body/mind is asking for a time-out, instead of feeling resentful, why not embrace it? 

Since you aren’t going to get much done anyway, you might as well announce, “I feel like %&@# today.” And then take care of yourself.  Watch a funny movie, read a book for pleasure, make a fun social plan.  If your frustration is the direct result of an outstanding issue that needs to be addressed, allow your feelings to guide you to an appropriate and honest response.  You’ll find that the resistance passes much more quickly.

Then you can get back to work.

Wellness Journalism: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

One of the best things you can do for your financial wellness is to keep your spending in alignment with your values. If you support the sustainable food movement, for example, you don’t buy McDonald’s chicken nuggets. Every dollar spent is a vote cast. Recognize the power of purchase!

In a culture that has diligently attempted to make consumerism a value of its own, it may seem difficult to untangle yourself from the habits of convenience that typically govern your spending. Rather than making sweeping assumptions about how plausible it might be to effect change with your spending power, it’s helpful to simply consider one purchase at a time. Before you swipe your card or slap your dollar down, ask yourself: does this purchase represent my personal beliefs? Does it support my goals?

Of course, making an educated decision is dependent upon education itself. Know where your products (food, clothing, household, etc) are coming from. Do a little research. Watch relevant documentaries, read articles, etc. Information is widely available as more people become aware of their impact.

And, when you do choose to invest your money in any given person, place, or thing: do it with joy!

For helpful information about balancing budgets, setting goals, managing credit, planning for the future, and everything else to do with smart spending….check out CashCourse, a comprehensive guide to all things finance.

Wellness Journalism: Building More Mindfulness

Attitudes: The Foundations of Mindfulness (Part II)

Taken from Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
and expanded by Gina Tang, Wellness Journalist

Trust: Developing a basic trust in your experience is an integral part of mindfulness training. Trusting your experience in the moment allows you to experience “reality” in a new manner.

Example: A surprise visit from a family member during the week of midterms means that you aren’t able to adhere to the study schedule you created for yourself. The panic sets in: When will you study? What if you don’t get enough time? What if you have to pull all-nighters trying to cram and then fail your tests anyway just because you’re tired? Suddenly, in a moment of mindful inspiration, your concerns give way to trust—trust that you will be able to manage your time, balancing family obligations with studying. You create a new study schedule that basically outlines a commitment to breathe, study whenever you can, and trust the outcome. As it turns out, you discover several creative new studying opportunities that you never would have thought existed. By test time you feel prepared, and more confident than ever.

Acceptance: Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present moment without trying to change them. Sooner or later, we have to come to terms with things as they are and accept them. This is true even if you don’t like how things are and would like to change them.

Example: It turns out that your new roommate is vegan—a devastating blow to you, an aspiring chef who delights in cooking as many cheesy dishes as possible to share with the household. You fear that this will put a heavy damper on your weekly dinners, because now you’ll either have to make an entirely separate entrée for just one person, or force the entire meal to exist without the gooey goodness that is cheese. Your commitment to your culinary inclinations is such that you consider giving up cooking for your roommates altogether, just to settle the issue, and you mope around the house for weeks. Instead of this paralyzing frustration, however, you could whip up some mindful acceptance—you aren’t responsible for the dietary choices of others; only for your own cooking and eating preferences. It’s up to you whether or not you want to cater to the new roommate or just keep cooking your favorites. Either way, you save yourself a tremendous amount of energy by simply accepting reality.

Letting Go: Our minds get caught by habitual ways of seeing, thinking, and reacting. Cultivating the attitude of letting go, or non-attachment, is fundamental to the practice of mindfulness.

Example: You’ve just gotten out of a year-long relationship. The break-up was tough: a lot of back and forth, failed attempts to reconcile, and exhausting evenings of circular conversation. You’ve been craving peace of mind so badly that finally cutting everything off feels like weight off your shoulders. You’re re-emerging into an autonomous lifestyle, and rather enjoying it. Then an encounter with your ex—in the arms of another—at a party, sends you spinning into a mind-numbing onslaught of pain and regret. It becomes clear at this point that if you cannot let go of the past, your world will be filled with suffering. So you decide that you will not revert back to self-doubt and the torture it presents. Instead, you do what you had once thought of as being impossible: mindfully setting the intention to let the relationship go, once and for all. When you feel your brain reaching for the past (and all of its corresponding ifs/ands/buts), you root down into the present moment (and its corresponding freedom). And, as you gain stability in this new state of surrender, you find that letting go is actually easier than holding on.

Wellness Journalism: Building Mindfulness

Attitudes: The Foundations of Mindfulness (Part I)

Taken from Full Catastrophe Living, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
and expanded by Gina Tang, Wellness Journalist

Non-Judging: Mindfulness is cultivated by assuming the stance of being an impartial witness to your own experience. To do this requires that you become aware of the experience of constantly judging and reacting to inner and outer experience.

Example: You’re down to the wire, studying hard for midterms. At a group study session one of your classmates starts gossiping about drama that has nothing to do with class material. The irritation you feel is overwhelming, and a highly critical internal monologue sets in—you start thinking about how your time is being wasted, how frustrating it is to try and study when other people are creating distractions, etc. In this moment, you are consumed by your experience of judging the classmate’s behavior. A mindful attitude, however, bears witness to the irritation but is not swept away by it. You accept that the distraction is happening around you, without actually distracting yourself—in other words, you don’t internalize it. Instead of casting yourself into a state of judgment, you can choose to stay focused on your own material. And eventually, the classmate settles back into studying too.

Patience: Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept that sometimes things unfold in their own time and that our efforts to control are often part of the problem.

Example: There are four people in your group and the project is due at the end of the week. Each member of the group has taken charge of a particular section of the project, and the agreement is that everybody will submit their portion well in advance of the deadline. You’ve posted your part, along with two others, and find yourself waiting for the final segment from the fourth member—and losing patience with it. Your impatience is such that you start badgering the fourth member via email and text, making a spectacle out of it with the other group members and raising general hell. You actually start doing some of the work yourself, convinced that it isn’t going to come in on time otherwise. When the fourth member submits the completed material, the day before it is due, it comes with the revelation that there had been a family emergency that required a quick trip out of town. Since the project was on time after all, the entire episode leaves you feeling like a jerk. A mindful attitude would not have proactively pestered, rather, allowed the fourth group member the freedom to accomplish the segment and submit it to the group according to the plan. You save yourself a great deal of energy and frustration by simply giving space to the situation, and responding—when necessary—to challenges that arise with a level head.

Beginner’s Mind: The richness of present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often we let our preconceived ways of thinking and our previously formed beliefs about what we “know” prevent us from seeing things as they really are or taking a fresh perspective.

Example: A friend of yours invites you to go check out a documentary screening—an important film, the friend says, about the corruption of the food industry and the health hazards that are often over-looked and under-reported. You don’t want to see it, though. You figure you already know what’s healthy and what isn’t, and you’re satisfied with what you eat, and the way you eat it. Fast forward a few years: you are sitting at dinner, and your date starts talking about the same movie—and convinces you to watch it. You are shocked by what you learn, and find yourself wishing that you had seen it sooner, certain it would have made a positive difference in your life. A mindful approach doesn’t dismiss new opportunities on the basis of assumptions, but carries an open mind to new information, new people, and new experiences.

Wellness Journalism: Stressing You

Last week’s blog post explored stress using the metaphor of waves in the ocean.
Now, let’s take a more scientific approach.

Your nervous system is divided into two operating platforms: sympathetic and parasympathetic.

When the parasympathetic nervous system sits in the driver’s seat, your body enjoys “rest and digest.” This state of being feels nice and comfy—like life is going fine and you are going right along with it.

The sympathetic nervous system, in contrast, is triggered by a perceived threat (historically this included lions, tigers, and bears—but today’s homo-sapien is more often faced with final exams, an angry partner, or being broke). The body then responds with “fight or flight” preparedness. In physiological terms, this translates to cortisol release; with it comes muscle tension, increased blood pressure, cessation of digestive function, and shallow breathing. As you can imagine, this state of being is not conducive to normal daily life. Yet many of us run around all day as though we are at gunpoint.

Dr. Kathleen Kawamura and The Stress Management Group define stress as the perception of threat combined with the perception of an inability to cope. In other words, here comes trouble, and it’s gonna getcha. But if the “trouble” has been self-generated, it can also be self-mediated (in other words—if you made it up, you can also remove it).

Cognitive Psychology emphasizes a rational approach. You can examine your perceptions, and restructure them as needed.

To decrease a perception of threat, ask yourself:
• How bad is it really? Does this fear have a tangible basis?
• How likely is it that this feared event will happen?
• What is more likely to happen?

To decrease perception of inability to cope, ask yourself:
• If this did happen, how would I cope?
• What are my options?
• How have I coped with similar situations in the past?

Of course, it’s also effective to bypass the mind altogether and go right into the body—as the body is always ready to release stress. Exercise, sports, yoga, deep breathing, massage, and skipping happily down the sidewalk are just a few of the many ways to engage yourself in the present moment (a realm where the future—and any potential threat it may carry—is not a complication).

Wellness Journalism: Surf’s Up!

One of the major factors affecting your sense of emotional well-being is stress—and how you handle it.

We live in a world of “sink or swim” and it’s easy to lose sight of the shore sometimes. With busy schedules and demanding classes, we hardly have time to take a breath between deadlines, or catch up on the little things like laundry, dishes, or shaving. Often we struggle under the added weight of relationship drama, malnutrition (skipping breakfast, eating Burger King for lunch…), being hung over, or running on a sleep deficit.

How can we keep ourselves afloat as we face wave after wave of assignments, projects, and exams? Is it possible to move with grace through the hectic pace of the quarter?

When you are out in the middle of this vast ocean of existence, how do you ride the tide?

Taking the stress/wave metaphor further, let’s look at your options. Your first instinct—wired into you early on in life, perhaps—is to flinch, fight, run, resist, or otherwise avoid the impact. You perceive the wave as an enormous beast that threatens to overwhelm you, swallowing you whole in a whirl of white water. So you burn a lot of energy trying to paddle away; a turbulent, exhausting, and frightening experience. This reaction to stress creates a sense of hopeless stagnation, compounded by a fear of drowning under the pressure. And, inevitably, the wave smacks you in the head.

What a solid emotional education will teach you, however, is to surf—a sporting effort requiring an active determination to engage the wave. In other words, “going with the flow” is an athletic art. And it gives you a certain response-ability: calm and confident (and maybe even a little curious), you make a choice. You can paddle into the wave, pop up, and go for a ride—using whatever surface area is available to you—or you can swim into and duck under it, letting it wash over you. Cultivating energy in this way provides an experience of surrender and release, transforming the wave into an infinite realm of possibility; every time you go for that ride, something awesome happens.

You determine your experience. Each wave is a unique opportunity to embrace the present moment and its vital buoyancy. The practice of mindfulness allows you to make your choices actively, rather than reactively. Responding with intention, you empower yourself!

Of course, you can always benefit from friendly guidance and support. The Counseling and Psychological Services team here at UCSD offers just that. Their website provides suggestions for meditation and mindfulness exercises that broaden your board, so to speak.

Here’s one now: When you feel a wave coming (or find yourself in the middle of one), set aside a full five minutes to focus on deep, abdominal breathing. You can contract and relax your muscle groups in sequence, starting with the toes and moving up the body. This serves to reconnect your head to your feet and facilitates self-navigation.

Wellness Journalism: Getting in Gear

With the start of fall quarter on your heels, you may find yourself running on overdrive—if so, slow down and look both ways! In the rush to get ready, you risk showing up to your first day of classes already huffing and puffing. This is hardly an effective way to begin the marathon sprint that is the 10-week academic quarter.

3 Steps to Your Best Start:

1.Honor The Golden Triangle: Eat-Exercise-Sleep. With this fundamental physical foundation you set yourself up for maximum productivity and mental efficiency.

• Eat a balanced diet and don’t skip meals—especially breakfast. Keep healthy snacks in your backpack. Food is fuel; you get out what you put in. Go for high octane stuff like vegetables, fruits, nuts, whole grains, and lean protein.

• Engage in significant physical activity—be it dance, gym, yoga, ball games, running, or jousting—at least three times a week. You can also build exercise into your schedule by walking briskly between classes, riding a bike to various local destinations, and taking the stairs instead of the elevator.

• Sleep—seriously. The average human being requires seven hours of sleep a night. When you deny yourself these precious hours of restoration, relying on caffeine to get through the day, you do a major disservice to your engine.

These three elements are your basic formula for functionality. Get into a good rhythm right off the bat, and sustain your groove all quarter long. You’ll have a much smoother ride.

2. Get Ready, Get Set. Environmental setting has a critical impact on your performance. Clean and organize your bedroom and work area (ideally you have a separate space designated for each). Make sure you have appropriate and comfortable furnishings, and decorations that uplift and inspire you. Note: creating a customized habitat doesn’t have to be expensive! Utilize Craigslist and Freecycle to acquire what you need (and get rid of what you don’t).

3. Adjust Your Attitude. It’s essential that you approach the challenging weeks ahead with the right mental posture. If you go into a hard class with a grumble and a grimace, you are going to have a very different experience than if you invite the course with willing confidence and open arms. Granted, there may be moments when you feel yourself falling off track—when this happens, take a deep breath, and redirect your train of thought. As Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are usually right.”

Wellness Journalism: Got Power?

Last Thursday I was sitting at my computer typing an email, when suddenly, everything went dark.

My first thought was, “Oh no! The power is out!” This was immediately followed by feelings of amusement and relief; I no longer had anything to do. Soon my coworkers and I learned the extent of the outage: Not just our building? Not just our campus? Not just our zip code? As we adjusted to this newly appointed reality, we had a lovely conversation about global climate conditions and our sense of purpose in life. Then we went home.

As I walked back to my little apartment, passing every car stuck in traffic, and I began to notice two things: 1. People were outside—walking, sitting, exercising—and 2. People were talking to each other. Having been released from the compulsion to keep up the pace, each in their own space, staring at their respective screens, people had emerged into the community. Some were enjoying $1 scoops of ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Others were waiting in a huge line in front of the grocery store to get water, cash only. Still others had put blankets down on the grass and were reading in the afternoon light. It was a perfect opportunity, I decided, to poll my fellow Americans.

My question was simple: “How does it feel to be powerless?”

Most people seemed to be taking it in stride, shrugging it off as a temporary disruption, enjoying the rest of a gorgeous summer day. Those with complaints had reasonable ones (It took me two hours to get home; I might miss my flight to Seattle tomorrow; nothing is open).

The entire crew of Regents Pizza had posted around tables outside of their store. One man in particular was smiling so broadly as I approached that my question was already answered. “What can I do?” he said, thoroughly pleased. “It’s out of my hands. I get to relax. I have been working all my life. This is great.”

“But what if the power doesn’t come back on?” I challenged him.

“Then I go back to the old days, like my grandparents used to do, growing my own food. I can survive with anything, using what’s around me.” Even my suggestion that there would be no cold beer didn’t faze him. He saw no problems, only solutions. Take the beer, he said after a moment, and bury it in the sand at the beach overnight. In the morning, it will be cold. Voila.

Others, however, didn’t share his exuberance. “It’s not good,” said a strained-looking man, on his way to his car. “There’s a lot of stuff…” he waves his hand around, indicating something sinister in the air. And he had a point—this was a reality check. How dependent are we on external systems to provide our basic needs—systems that, when feces hit the fan, may be dysfunctional?

As night fell I could see candlelit dinners under a sky full of stars. It felt peaceful. And I was reminded that we have the right—and the responsibility—to keep this peace in our lives. Technology is a wonderful tool. But we musn’t let it distract us from learning to be present, to sit with our friends and families, or talk to our neighbors. It is when we unplug the machines, and tune in to ourselves and each other, that we rediscover the charge in human connection.

It’s Monday now and back to business as usual. But I hope the lesson stays home: where does our power really come from?

Wellness Journalism: Rare Footage

There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. We are charged with deciding where to put our feet…and there are many challenges to meet when it comes to making both small and large choices during the day. When we know we want to create positive change and yet find that something—inertia, perhaps—seems to keep us trodding the same beaten trails, it can feel as though real change is out of reach.

I know that caffeine, processed sugar, and alcohol are toxic for my body. I know that eating that third helping of mashed potatoes is going to make me too full, and too tired to function effectively after dinner. Where is the disconnection between my head and my feet (and hands)? I find that I go through cycles: healthy eating punctuated by a few days of debauchery, weeks without caffeine followed by indulged coffee cravings, months without drinking and then an entire bottle of wine down the hatch. I push for sustainable change, and then find myself swinging back into old patterns.

Thich Nhat Hanh calls this “habit energy.” In his book of Zen teachings, Be Free Where You Are, he writes:

“Every one of us has habit energies that push us to say and do things we don’t want to say or do. These habit energies damage us and our relationships to other people. Intellectually we know that saying or doing a certain thing will cause a lot of suffering, and yet we still say or do it. And once you say or do something, the damage is done. Then you regret it. You say, “I am not going to say or do that thing again.” But though you say this with sincerity, the next time the situation presents itself, you say or do the same thing. This is the power of habit energy.”

Whether we suffer from repeated relationship dramas, unhealthy eating and/or drinking patterns, or other compulsive behaviors, Thich Nhat Hanh recommends the following: when habit energy rears its gnarled head, recognize it, smile at it, and let it be. There is no need to fight or judge OR indulge; the simple act of mindful acknowledgment is enough to knock it off center stage. Say, “Hello, there, habit energy. I hear you, but you are not the boss of me,” with absolute confidence and deep, loving breaths.

At first I thought this sounded overly simplistic. But as I work with mindful awareness and breathing, I find that my own voice—that which represents the change I want to see—becomes stronger, and the habit energy becomes weaker. It’s like developing new muscle memory. Even my slip-ups don’t have the staying power they used to; I find that I regain my footing much more quickly, and with less energy wasted on self-criticism. And, when I look back, I find that I’ve come a long way forward.